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The latest self-forgivenesses with the BO trade – Day 651

Screen Shot 2015-09-30 at 11.54.14I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel that I rather spend money than use it to earn money
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel that I rather waste money than use it to make money
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself feeling that I rather spend or waste money than make money with it. I see/realize/understand that it is a program that I allow to activate in myself when I am using money. Instead I stick to my goal and I direct myself.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think that it will be easy to make money with trading, effortless. I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself believe the thought that it will be easy to make money with trading, effortless. I see/realize/understand that that I created this believe based on expressions of another person. Instead I realize that I need full attention and inner stability to be able to consider everything for the decision to trade or not to trade
polarity: hyperactive versus dumbed down
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist in and as the polarity hyperactivity to try and grasp the binary options trade more versus becoming dumb wanting to forget all about it
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘dive’ into the chaos of the markets and enjoy the wild movements no matter what it costs
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself wanting to ‘dive’ into the chaos of the markets and enjoy the wild movements no matter what it costs. I see/realize/understand that this is a desire of me as my mind. Instead I stabilize myself in breath and I direct myself in alignment with my goal
My goal is to be fully here and trade as an expression of self. Enjoying the application of my skills in reading the charts and the movements of the rates. Enhancing my awareness of interfering personality trades where I would lose myself and stopping myself in the moment to be fully here, to fully here. (‘here’ as a verb)
I see that I was in a moment self-confident with some profit. And instead of staying with myself in and as self-confidence I accessed hope;
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to trade on the polar energy of hope versus disappointment. I see/realize/understand that I am trading form a construct in my mind where I don’t apply common sense considerations because I let myself be influenced in my actions by hope. When and as I see myself trade on the basis of hope I stop and I breathe and instead I stabilize myself in and as breath so I am here and I decide to trade or not to trade in the moment.
I received an offer for a private Eqafe interview form someone. I decided I would like to hear form a former girlfriend who had died. From the day of the interview on I had a really clear sense of self, the self have been here all the time but not always had realized. Where I would suppress self to let thoughts/ideas/phantasies/projections/energetic feelings and emotions prevail instead of self.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can live without myself
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that my self isn’t enough to live with
I see that during my first seven years at school I suppressed my self greatly. Something that I had accused the school system of. I am thus able to set this straight.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge the schoolsystem for suppressing self. I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to accuse the schoolsystem of suppressing self. I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself judging and accusing the schoolsystem. I see/realize/understand that this is a belief in and as mind. Instead I see that it was me who suppressed self so I can as well undo the suppression which I set myself forth to do
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed my self to put pressure on myself to get profit from the trade
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself putting pressure on my self to get profit from the trade. I see/realize/understand that this is a function of me as the mind. Instead I remain calm and stable to make sure I am here
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel that my self has to prove itself in the trade by producing profit
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want to exhaust my self for profit
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think ‘would it go wrong next time’ to create the energetic experience of fear as a thrill
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to pull at myself in an attempt to raise my results
I see that I must stop any thoughts about the trade on before hand like, ‘I must hurry so I can trade as soon as possible’, ‘it went well yesterday so today I will be successful’, ‘shit I must have missed some very good trade opportunities by now’, ‘I imagine how happy X would be when I tell them about the successful trades of today’, with any thought really I will take away the opportunity of self-enjoyment. Because I place myself in a mode. Instead I make way for self.
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Even more Desteni-I-Process in the money point – Day 650

Screen Shot 2015-09-11 at 10.01.33I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to build up pressure on myself pertaining to the trade by thinking ‘I must make money then I will create the opportunity to live with B’.
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself building up pressure om myself pertaining to the trade by thinking ‘I must make money then I will create the opportunity to live with B’. I see/realize/understand that I try and function from energy in and as the mind. Instead I breathe in stability to be able to stand equal and one to the money system movements
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to basically gamble with the trade by basing my decision on ‘let’s see’.
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself basically gambling with the trade by basing my decision on ‘let’s see’.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to start the trade thinking that ‘I want to make a good impression on B with my results’
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself starting the trade thinking that ‘I want to make a good impression on B with my results’
I commit myself to when I have everything ready for the trade to take the moment to see into me. I commit myself to self forgive any and all energy movements that I detect. Until I am stable here in and as breath. So I am able to take everything in consideration pertaining to the trade that I have seen/realized and understood before.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think that I must adjust my investment according to previous investments. Instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that there is no influence from past investments on the new investment. The only connection is myself. If I made bad decisions I don’t need to adjust the amount I need to ‘adjust’ myself. To see into me what emotional/feeling energies I allowed to run through my body, which thoughts I allowed to influence me and to forgive myself and to correct myself so I am stable here.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to sneak into the binary options trade where I try to in between everything else that’s going on and needs attention to create a space for trading without being noticed, in separation.
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself sneak into the trade. I see/realize/understand that I am following a program in myself. Instead I delete the program in it’s totality and I direct myself in the moment considering everything that needs attention and attending to what’s most urgent and most practical of it all.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel really angry at/with myself that I don’t trust myself with my trade decisions and disregard them as ‘risky’, where I value T’s more than myself
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to value Tim as more than myself where it comes to trade decisions
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to forget that I have already proven to myself that when I secure my self-stability I’m capable of taking winning trades.
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself forgetting that I have already proven to myself that when I secure my self-stability I’m capable of taking winning trades. I see/realize/understand that this is a program of selfdimishment. Instead I check on my self-stability and within this I take the trades.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear to base the trade decisions totally on myself
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that this fear will help me to be cautious
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the thrill of fear
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself fearing to base the trade decisions totally on myself. I see/realize/understand that fear is a function of the mind. Instead I stabilize myself in and as breath so I’m able to move one and equal with the charts and take the winning trades
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to put pressure on myself believing that this will help me to stay sharp in my trade decisions instead of realizing that I give myself the max when and as I am self-stability
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to despair when I think of having to make trade decisions instead of realizing that it is the thought that creates despair and I stop participation in the thought
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to narrow my consciousness believing that this gives me the focus to see winning trade options. Instead I breathe and expand in awareness to be able to move one and equal with the charts
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to trade on the basis of the thought ‘o who cares…’
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself trade on the basis of the thought ‘o who cares…’. I see/realize/understand that it is an energy motivation from within my mind that drives me. Instead I take self directed decisions to trade or not to trade.


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Meer proces in het geldpunt – Dag 649

bootjeEnigzins succesvol met de Binary Options trade wilde ik mijn gewoonlijke ‘investeringen’ van 5,- euro verhogen naar 10,-. Direct ging het mis en verloor ik tweemaal 10,- euro. Wat was er aan de hand? Ik keek in mezelf en ik zag dat met het gebruik van wat royalere bedragen er in mezelf een soort kwistigheid opgekomen was waardoor ik niet zo nauwgezet bezig was als met de 5,- euro investeringen. Ik vergaf mezelf dit kwistigheidsysteem en corrigeerde het in mezelf.
Terwijl ik aan het traden was maakte ik toch een paar keer een foute investering. Ik merkte in mezelf een drive om door te gaan. Wat was het? Ik keek in mezelf en ik zag dat ik een soort deinende energie in me had waarop ik ‘dreef’ als een bootje op de zee. Ik begreep dat ik het geldsysteem waarmee ik me uiteenzet in de trade in mezelf als een zee van energie ervoer waarop ik me liet drijven. Hierdoor was ik m’n zelfsturing kwijt en kon ik geen winnende trades maken. Omdat ik reageer in plaats van anticipeer en zodoende ben ik steeds te laat. Ik vergaf mezelf dit en corrigeerde het in mezelf.
Ik was van plan om in de toekomst grote bedragen te investeren en ik onderzocht mezelf op reacties op dit plan. Ik zag dat een systeem actief werd in mezelf waarin ik geloof dat ik als eenmaal met grote bedragen werk dat ik dan ‘uit de losse pols’ kan traden. Zulk een onzorgvuldigheid is in ’t geheel niet van toepassing bij de trade dus dit systeem wilde ik beslist niet laten bestaan in mezelf. Ik vergaf het mezelf en ik corrigeerde mezelf zodat ik mij er niet door zal laten leiden.
Ik zie in mezelf dat ik een beweging maak die energetisch van aard is. Ik onderzoek de aard ervan en ik zie dat het ‘wegrennen’ is. Ik begrijp/realiseer me dat ik een programma in mezelf activeer wat me ertoe beweegt weg te rennen wanneer zich de mogelijkheid voordoet dat ik mezelf financieel ondersteun. Het was me al op begonnen te vallen dat ik mijn trade-activiteiten niet als ondersteunend ervoer omdat ik steeds in energetische reacties terecht kwam en ik was al begonnen tegen mezelf te zeggen ‘ik ondersteun mezelf hiermee’ waarbij ik mijn handen op mijn nierstreek plaatste om mijn woorden kracht bij te zetten. Ik vergaf mezelf nu deze wegren-beweging en ik corrigeerde dit in mezelf zodat ik mezelf ondersteunen kan met mijn trade-inspanningen.


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Why do I only consider positive outcomes? – Day 648

chanceStudying the charts with the ever changing exchange rates of the valuta for the binary options trade, I constantly am considering the chances of the rates going up or down. This perception of considering chances I see myself projecting on other moments during the day and it brings to my awareness how many things I take for granted. And how many times I do indeed only consider chances for a positive or negative outcome. Positive meaning the outcome that I desire/wish for/expect and negative meaning an accident/illness/disappointment.
Disappointment is an interesting word in this context because it suggests that we only ‘make appointments’ with positive outcomes. And that we then take our chances and when it doesn’t work out along the lines of our projected outcome we are dis-appointed. As the manifested consequence of our disregard of a possible negative outcome. Which in fact entails a self-disappointment. Because we actually set the situation up in a way that we didn’t ‘make an appointment’ with a possible negative outcome. Meaning that we went for the desired outcome only and blinded ourselves for the possibility of it turning out negatively. So we create disappointment as a consequence. Decisions based on the desired/wished for/expected outcome can be as simple as postponing learning to be able to go to the movies, where one fails for the exam or as consequential as marrying a person and creating a living with them, while ignoring all signals  that indicate a future ‘disaster’.
This is what I encounter while observing the charts, that I, driven by the desire to trade, take the trade, only reckoning with a positive outcome (profit) and then getting totally disappointed by seeing it turn into a negative outcome (loss) where I would then look back and see that I had ignored specific indictors warning me for the probability of a negative outcome. So I had created my dis-appointment by only ‘making an appointment’ with the positive outcome.