martijndegraaf1001

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Him, Her, You – Day 675

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A situation where two people are partners and they speak with a thdownloadird person and one of them talks about their partner as ‘her’ resp. ‘him’. I watched this happening and I had a reaction where I even touched my body saying that I really disapprove of such behavior and that I changed it in myself and found a way to speak where I turn myself to my partner addressing her as ‘you’.
Why do I react so strongly? Here is a memory where my parents would have friends over, like six people and the conversation would stop and my mother would say about my father: “isn’t it a dear”?. And where nobody would know what to say and I felt that she degrades him while looking back I really do not know what she felt and what moved her to say that in that way. Let’s see what opens up more…
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel that my mother degrades my father by talking about him amongst friends as ifn he is an object
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel that my father is being treated as an object.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge my mother as being rude to my father
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge het for ‘placing people in an impossible situation by asking a question that nobody can answer, a. because nobody knows him that well and b. because she use the ‘isn’t’ expression which is highly suggestive as to point out that there’s only one answer possible: yes’.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that I am being rude for judging her
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that I place the people in an impossible situation within myself by thinking that she does that.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become confused as to what she means because her question isn’t a question and her ‘’isn’t is meaning ‘is’ and nobody is saying anything
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that I project my feeling awkward and embarrassed with the situation onto the others where I really cannot tell what they feel
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mother makes everyone feel awkward and embarrassed and to blame her for this
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother for my feeling awkward and embarrassed
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to react to the words her and him in the discussion I watched
I simply didn’t know what everyone was meaning and feeling because I never asked tem. So I refrain myself from judgement and interpretation.
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Auteur: martijndegraaf1001

I am currently in the process of re-creating myself from a selfish being into a participant of a group of individuals that works for what's best for life on Earth, which is what's best for all of us, because without life we have no existence. Desteni is the name of the expanding group. I am writing my Journey to Life blogs to deconstruct the patterns based on fear that I exist as and to share this, so anyone can see the process I am walking.

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