martijndegraaf1001

Reis naar Leven

Victim versus Perpetrator – Day678

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images (1)Looking deeper into the sore throat.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to be a perpetrator in order to survive
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live according to the principle ‘you can only survive if you’re willing to be harmful’
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to force my throat as a way to exert the perpetrator personality’s energy
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to identify with the perpetrator personality
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe I need the victim personality to survive
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use this personality to draw compassion from others
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist in and as the polarity construct of perpetrator versus victim
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself tensioning up my throat. I see/realize/understand that it’s the habit of myself as the perpetrator personality. Instead I relax the muscles of jaws, throat and upper chest and breathe.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel victim to my own perpetrator personality
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need the apparent strength of the perpetrator personality to survive
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself as life missing life by shifting into the victim personality
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself already before birth to accept and allow this polarity construct in myself as how I’m going to manifest myself
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not to talk about the sexual violence that was done unto me because I believed it was necessary for me to accept the extreme self-suppression in order to survive.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I’m to weak to survive and that I therefor need to develop a perpetrator personality
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that this weakness wasn’t me but the victim personality
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear that I won’t survive now that I do away with the survival polarity construct of victim versus perpetrator
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to try and avoid the experience of this fear in my chest and ‘lifting’ myself out of my chest.
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself fearing that I won’t survive now that I let go of the polarity construct
I see/realize/understand that this is just a belief of me as mind. Instead I take everything in consideration what practically needs to be done to secure my survival in a way that’s best  for all.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to so disbelief in my survival capabilities that I rather give up on before hand
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself in total disbelief of my own survival capabilities. I see/realize/understand that this is me as mind. Instead I investigate and apply practical ways to survive

Auteur: martijndegraaf1001

I am currently in the process of re-creating myself from a selfish being into a participant of a group of individuals that works for what's best for life on Earth, which is what's best for all of us, because without life we have no existence. Desteni is the name of the expanding group. I am writing my Journey to Life blogs to deconstruct the patterns based on fear that I exist as and to share this, so anyone can see the process I am walking.

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