martijndegraaf1001

Reis naar Leven

Small because of little money – Day 682

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imagesI forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must make myself small to not be seen and spoken to because I have little money
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear that another will speak to me and that I at some point have to mention that I have little money and therefor cannot do something or don’t have something what the other speaks of. Instead I see/realize/understand that I fear that I’ll start manipulating as my poor-man-personality is activated.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will scare off another because he/she might get caught up in considerations like ‘do I now have to pay stuff for him’ and they don’t want that. Instead I see/realize/understand that I fear that I’ll scare off myself by accessing this personality.
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself fear that I will scare off another because he/she doesn’t want to get caught up in considerations like ‘do I now have to pay stuff for him?’ Instead I see/realize/understand that I fear that I’ll get caught up in my poor-man-personality considering that I might get the other to feel like paying stuff for me
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself believing that I must make myself small to not be seen and spoken to because I have little money. I see/realize/understand that a belief is a function of me as mind. Instead I live the word ‘humbleness’ and I take full responsibility for my financial situation
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must make myself dependent on wealthy people in order to be able to survive
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must manipulate wealthy people to support me by waiting for the moment where they unconsciously don’t take in consideration that what they say only goes when having (more than enough) money, and I then point that out
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to wait for them to realise they don’t take poor people into consideration and they start to feel guilty/ashamed because of their wealth
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to then offer myself as the solution by mentioning ‘I cannot afford that’ and have them consider to support me with money or goods or other means to ease their guilt/shame
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear that they will see through my manipulation and I’ll be left to my demise
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I forgive myself all of the above that my life will be over
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I forgive myself all of this that it is like giving up on myself
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have identified myself with this personality so that I experience it as ‘myself’
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself accessing the poor-man-personailty. I see/realize/understand that I limit myself. Instead I see that I can become effective in doing what’s best for all by seeing how I can assist and support a wealthy other in becoming aware of them excluding/ignoring/disregarding poor people when talking about matters so they can expand their perspective and also become effective in doing what’s best for all.
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Auteur: martijndegraaf1001

I am currently in the process of re-creating myself from a selfish being into a participant of a group of individuals that works for what's best for life on Earth, which is what's best for all of us, because without life we have no existence. Desteni is the name of the expanding group. I am writing my Journey to Life blogs to deconstruct the patterns based on fear that I exist as and to share this, so anyone can see the process I am walking.

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