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Black Magic – Day 691

black magicI was walking with B on a sidewalk and a young man was walking in our direction. He was dressed in a black martial arts outfit and had some kind of silvery weapon holder attached to his belt. I looked at B and I saw a sudden emotional reaction on her face. Immediately I felt totally unstable, like I’m going to faint or vomit or both. We discussed what her reaction was and then I mentioned that mine was due to a pattern that KimA had pointed out, where I’ll react with fear to other people’s emotional reactions. So I forgave that but I remained as unstable as can be. What was the matter??
B said ‘maybe you reacted to this man as well?’ I saw into me and yes, to me he seemed to be a person that’s involved in ‘black magic’. I opened up the point assisted by B’s questions. It revealed that I started to believe in white and black magic forces when I was around 20. And I found that I since then had a dark forces compartment in my mind, lol, and every time I would hear of some evil deeds I would add energy to this compartment. I had separated myself from it as I saw dark forces as something to avoid. So I first had to forgive myself the separation (fear) to enable myself to look into this compartment. Then I forgave myself to have established it in my mind and the dark thing disappeared like a bursting soap bubble. I was speechless for a moment to see something that was real to me dissolve into nothing in an instance. Immediately I felt pretty stable and was able to enjoy the rest of the day. I decided to pay close attention to catch myself storing a dark forces energetic experience in my mind, to prevent the building up of a similar compartment. I realised that watching the movie ‘The Devil’s Advocate’ the day before had contributed to the accumulation of the energy to the point where it manifested itself as the projection of it unto this young man with the black martial art dress. And yes, there was a moment shortly after where I listened to a video about the horrible practice of children abducted and killed for ritualistic purposes where I saw myself making this inner movement as if saying ‘here are them dark forces at work for sure’, with the intention to store this in myself as ‘proof of their existence’. Instead I breathed till the energy was gone.


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Judgement and angerrrr – Day 690

vagebondWhere I separate myself from myself and go into judgement and anger against myself, my behavior. I project this onto other people of whom I expect that they are angry with me or judge me negatively
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to separate me from myself and establish a judgemental and angry relation with myself.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to assume that I probably did something wrong or strange in the eyes of other people and they’ll now judge me or be angry with me.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that I do something wrong and strange to myself by separating me from myself
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to project this onto others who I perceive to judge me and be angry with me.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to react to this projection by feeling even more strange and out of the ordinary and  being even more judgemental and angry with myself.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself out of fear of being judged and evoking anger
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself separate me from myself, going into judgment and anger. I see/realise/understand that this is the in initiation of the pattern. Instead I breathe and stand equal and one with myself
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself believing that others are judging me and being angry with me. I see/realise/understand that I am existing in and as this mind pattern. Instead I stand equal and one to them. If they have judgement or anger towards me it is about themselves, just projected unto me, like the judgment and anger that I suspect they have about me is my own that I project unto them.