martijndegraaf1001

Reis naar Leven

Never again take care of plants – Day 692

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plantCorrecting myself in this point.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I shouldn’t take care of a plant because they all eventually die in my care
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to hold on to the memory of trees I felt connected to, being felled
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to hold on to the memory where four plants that I started to care for were cut of
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I would start to grow a plant from a seed too much can go wrong so I better not even start with that
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have agreed with myself that it’s better I never take care of a plant because I couldn’t stand see one die again
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think it’s a trap when I would start growing a plant
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel very angry with myself in my relation to growing plants
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate in emotions of destruction and imaginations of the kind when I think of caring for a plant
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to expect a plant that I would grow to perish at some point due to something that I do wrong or due to things happening to it that I do not control
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to distance myself from a plant seed that I would put in soil to avoid despair in the future of it.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that my life is not suitable for taking care of plants because sometimes I am a few days away and I cannot attend to it
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to imagine that the life of the plant will be over soon so that I have no worries about it anymore
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel distrust like I cannot trust plants instead of seeing that I project the distrust in myself as care taker of plants
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to distrust myself when it comes to taking care of plants
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have the opinion that other people with the necessary abilities must take care of plants, not me
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could plant a seed as a joke, as entertainment
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think that plants must fend for themselves and not depend on human interference unless that’s people with the necessary abilities/talents so that nature can have it’s way
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think it would be stupid to have me grow a plant
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself believing that I should never seed a plant or take care of it. I see/realise/understand that it is a belief that I have created based on memories.
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself imagining that a plant in my care dies. I see/realise/understand that it is based on past experiences.
I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see myself giving in to thoughts and imaginations of dying plants in my care and emotions generated by those thoughts and images.
Instead I inform myself about the plant to be able to take care of it to the best of my abilities.
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Auteur: martijndegraaf1001

I am currently in the process of re-creating myself from a selfish being into a participant of a group of individuals that works for what's best for life on Earth, which is what's best for all of us, because without life we have no existence. Desteni is the name of the expanding group. I am writing my Journey to Life blogs to deconstruct the patterns based on fear that I exist as and to share this, so anyone can see the process I am walking.

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