martijndegraaf1001

Reis naar Leven

Crisis management – Day 693

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crisisMy leg was still hurting from an accident and then I had the roots of a molar removed, also my elbow would hurt when I bent it and I feared possible consequences from the change of course that I had given to my life, all in all I had brought myself in a apparent crisis and my body reacted with dizziness, nausea and diarrhea. After three days I decided that I had to stop it, because it didn’t ‘go away’
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel a fear attack
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not know the source
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear the wrath of the system
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear perishing
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear to face the wrath of the system
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must keep myself in a grid to have an acceptable placement in the system
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear stepping out of the construct that I had placed myself within as an acceptable member for the societal system
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I’ll be in a crisis situation in the future
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to expect a crisis situation any time
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to look out for and intrpret signs that a crisis situation is starting to unfold
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to already place a tension on my forehead as if looking into vast difficulties and trying to see a way through
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fantasize crisis situations that might occur
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that the voice of the other indicates that there is a crisis situation
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to perceive that the behavior of the other indicates that there is a crisis situation
After this I kept looking for any other signs that would restart or re-install the crisis program in myself, and delete them in the moment. I noticed for instance a ‘pull’ to my belly that would weaken it’s normal state and cause it to go into diarhea. A similar ‘pull’ occurred to my middle and lower part of my face which would have caused me to break into emotions of sadness and self-pity.
This way I was able to return to normal in a few hours time
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Auteur: martijndegraaf1001

I am currently in the process of re-creating myself from a selfish being into a participant of a group of individuals that works for what's best for life on Earth, which is what's best for all of us, because without life we have no existence. Desteni is the name of the expanding group. I am writing my Journey to Life blogs to deconstruct the patterns based on fear that I exist as and to share this, so anyone can see the process I am walking.

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