martijndegraaf1001

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Self-preservation and self-expansion – Day 699

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Self-preservation
I noticed that I missed something, Ia lack of sorts, I felt it in my body, my head was slightly forward en my neck felt exposed, asking for what? And I saw that I needed someone to hold their hand there to protect me and preserve my life. I realized that hey, I can give it to myself. This was new to me, all my life I had felt this need for protection and preservation. I started to give this to myself and it worked, I felt preserved and protected. I kept my focus on it for a few days to make it normal.
Self-expansion
I woke up in the night from a dream. I was in a stable standing with my back to a wall and before me a beautiful yellowish cow, I stroke it’s neck and it moved a bit and suddenly I feared that I might be crushed. Immediately I woke up, feeling very claustrophobic. I didn’t get myself to calm down and I left the bed and didn’t go to bed anymore. Seeing into me I found the cause. The day before I had had some spare time and I decided to watch some entertaining videos. In doing so I had moved myself into a confined, limited ‘space’ for myself. Claustrophobically small. So in looking for a word to live as solution I came up with ‘self-expansion’. I’m still busy implementing this word for myself. When I have some spare time, I take a deep breath and rather look what I could do to expand on my capabilities, insights, activities.
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Auteur: martijndegraaf1001

I am currently in the process of re-creating myself from a selfish being into a participant of a group of individuals that works for what's best for life on Earth, which is what's best for all of us, because without life we have no existence. Desteni is the name of the expanding group. I am writing my Journey to Life blogs to deconstruct the patterns based on fear that I exist as and to share this, so anyone can see the process I am walking.

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